Good times

It was about 6:45 AM, and Mandy and I were sitting in Starbucks having a coffee.  She was anyway, since I had to stop drinking liquids after midnight.  We were up early - neither of us had expected to sleep well anyway - and we decided to take advantage of it.  My phone rang unexpectedly, and I saw KU Med calling.  My first thought was hoping they hadn’t cancelled the surgery for some reason.  I didn’t think I could psych myself up for this twice.  The nurse on the other end asked me if I was still planning on going through with it, and when I said yes, she asked me where I was.  They’d called twice before, incorrectly telling me to be there at 7:30, when that was actually the scheduled surgery time. Damn, the last thing we needed was any thing more to stress about this morning. 

We rushed right over, filled out some paperwork and were met at the elevator to take me back to pre-op.  There was a ton of people all working on me at once.  They weighed me, prepped me, I.V’d me and hooked up monitors.  Every few minutes someone would ask me my name, birth date and what I was there for.  I hoped it was a test of some kind, and they weren’t really wondering.   After asking several times, they finally brought Mandy back for a couple of minutes.  I took off my wedding ring, handed it to her, and off we went.  In hindsight, the rush eliminated any opportunity to sit around and get nervous. The surgery took about four hours, and they kept Mandy and my dad updated about how I was doing.

That first night post-op, I was fine.  No real pain, since I wasn’t moving, and mostly dozing in and out.  Mandy stayed to make sure I had a good nurse for the night, and then went home to sleep around 8:30.  Except for nodding off a few times, I stayed awake the entire night.  It didn’t bother me, I just didn’t seem tired.  

The next day, I had to get up and walk, with Mandy helping me up and down the hallways.  I was still just eating liquids, but that was fine with me since I could barely take a full breath, much less eat a big meal and I had no appetite anyway.  I had six holes in me around my midsection from the robot, and a bruise on one side that was about one foot by six inches. I was sore; it felt like I had done a couple thousand situps.  

The doctor came to check on me around noon, and we decided to go on and check out since I was feeling relatively good.  Five minutes after he left, I had a spasm so excruciatingly painful that I couldn’t move, or even speak to tell Mandy what was wrong.  I may know what it feels like to be Tased now.  The doctor later told me it was a bladder spasm, and the pain is on par with giving birth.  My hat’s off to you ladies.  I’m amazed we have so many babies running around. Unfortunately, I would continue having these on and off for the next 10 days

The first night home was painful, messy and uncomfortable and I could not fathom how I would make it through the next two weeks.  I wished I’d stayed another night in the hospital, but it was too late now.  Mandy took Noah to a party he’d been begging to go to, and my mom took care of Elliot.  After I finally got situated, I did sleep a little bit.  The next day, I got up walked around the house a little, but mostly napped.  Three days after surgery, and four days after I started my liquid diet, I finally ate a little real food - mostly fruit and soup.  I was already going stir crazy.

The next morning, Mandy got up with me at 5:30 AM to go for a walk.  This is the essence of the recovery right now - no lifting anything, just walking.  I walk mornings and nights, in the dark to avoid neighbors, about 3-4 miles a day.  I overdid it early, and I was painfully slow, but it was good to get out of the house.   Sitting around reading books or watching movies might sound like a pretty good gig, but it gets old in a hurry, especially when you can’t concentrate much anyway.  

I had a really comfortable La-z-boy to sleep in, but it felt like a prison after the first day.  So did the house after a while, and when the temperatures hit 103 I couldn’t even sit out on the patio without being uncomfortable.  After a week, I finally ventured out with some friends who came by and took me out for lunch.  It wasn’t comfortable, but it was amazingly liberating to get out. Funny what a little change in perspective can do for you when you’re life is reduced to the fundamentals.  

The first few days, I tired pretty easily and there were a few ups and downs along the way, but about five days after the surgery was the absolute low point. I was tired of dealing with the pain and discomfort, and it started to get a little overwhelming.  I also got a call from the surgeon explaining the pathology report, which was good, but not what we were expecting.  He said he was "shocked" by the amount of cancer involvement, given what the biopsy led us to believe, and especially in a man my age.  And the as for the surgery, without getting too scientific it was sort of like the difference between “We got it all” and “We’re pretty sure we got it all.”  

But as I’m writing this, I’m enjoying the most beautiful fall-like day we’ve had this year, out on the patio listening to my favorite music while the breeze blows.  I’m feeling good, and it almost feels like I’m going to get through this. Tomorrow is the first post-op visit, and I get the catheter out - it will be a banner moment for me, and allow me to be much more mobile.  

Our family has had a great deal of support from family and friends during this time, and it would be impossible to adequately thank them.  My mom stayed the week and helped tremendously with the kids and letting Mandy take a break.  Mandy’s mom came over frequently to help out with that stuff too, and many of her friends got us meals, or took the kids for awhile, or other things that made life easier.  There was a local TV news anchor that’s been through this before, and he was outstanding in his support, both before and after the surgery, with both of us.  On several occasions we would get Facebook messages from him during the commercials of the newscast.

Mandy was the absolute best.  She took on taking care of me when I needed it, and the kids and the rest of the house when it needed it.  During all this, she was laid low by a combination of allergies, sinus infection and virus all at once, and managed to keep going through some pretty miserable days for her.  She’s my favorite nurse.  

Now I start from scratch, and get back into fighting shape.