Date night

For almost a year now, Mandy and I have had a standing date night on Friday nights.  Noah was a difficult baby to leave in his early years, then Elliot came along, and doubled the work.  After several years of putting kids first, someone convinced us how important it was to put ourselves first on a regular basis, and so nearly every Friday night we get a baby sitter, leave the dinner and bedtime routine to someone else, and go out. 

Last night I came home from work to briefly see the kids before we went out, welcomed home by Elliot. Apparently he had been telling Mandy all day that "When Daddy get home he be happy to change my stinky diaper," and to prove his theory, he greeted me with one.  Noah had discovered Legos that day, and was happily absorbed in building stuff.  He's always been great at building creations with blocks, and I think this takes him to a new level. 

The babysitter arrived, and as is usually the case, we left with no particular plan in mind. We settled on Ponak's, one of many good Mexican restaurants on Southwest Boulevard.  Over a couple of margaritas, we talked about the week we'd just had, and the weeks ahead.  We talked about our kids - always a popular topic, no matter how hard we try not to - and laughed as we discussed their quirks, the funny stuff they'd said and our memories from the earlier years.  It's a good and necessary way for us to catch up without interruption, and in a more relaxed setting, it helps us to focus on the good rather than the petty irritants that can tend to accumulate if not given a break. 

After dinner, we drove by the Liberty Memorial and decided to stop.  After the oppressive heat lately, it was a great night - high-70's, with a cool, soft breeze.  The memorial plaza was nearly empty of anyone else, and the solitude was peaceful. The sun was setting, casting a pink/orange glow on the city, framed by a soft haze - a result of the smoke from the Arizona wildfires.  This spot affords a fantastic view of the city that goes on for miles, and in the quiet of the place, you could hear the muffled sounds of traffic, the clanking and whistles of the freight trains going by, and even the water fountains in front of Union Station.

These date nights aren't indulgences, they're necessary to regroup, reconnect, and remember why we were together in the first place.  There was a time when we'd forgotten that, when taking care of the kids literally consumed our waking hours.  But, as the person who suggested these standing appointments said, just like the stewardess in an airplane tell you, "You need to put your own oxygen mask on first."  It grants us perspective, something you can't get when you're in the thick of things, and lets us focus on the many ways our children bring us delight, rather than thoughts about how hard it can be.   

We just stood and talked for awhile, admiring the view, and I realized, again, why I married her and how lucky I was to have her as my friend, my wife and the mother of my children.  We've still got a lot left to accomplish together.  Can't wait until next week.